Nero had a neckbeard, that explains everything

He ruled with an iron fist ironically.

Nero wasn't just a tyrant and an evil bastard in general, but something worse: A HIPSTER! You know that apocryphal story of him playing a fiddle while Rome burned? It probably wasn't a fiddle, but dubstep! It's a good thing he committed suicide before he started building Starbucks and Whole Foods everywhere.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go into hiding, lest actual historians find and flay me alive for this post.

Picture via Wikimedia.